When you read parenting books, watch parenting programs, and listen to parenting consultants you may hear the definition for “good parenting.” This definition seems to come up so often that it tends to be assumed as the standard. But it is simply not the case.
There is no one definition of perfect parenting. Your definition of good parenting will vary according to your own personal experiences.
I can’t tell you how many times I have seen parents put their children’s happiness before their own happiness. It happens all the time, but I always try to remain calm and make a judgment call. If you are dealing with a controlling, unreasonable parent, I know what I am talking about. That is the definition of a terrible parenting situation.
Unfortunately, the parent’s words do not always match the actions. Sometimes they really are great, but sometimes they are bad. Some are simply not very effective at all.
Happy Parents: A Good Parent
Parents who are very happy all the time may actually be being self-centered, which is the exact opposite of self-control. It is the definition of selfishness that creates the problem. You can not be perfect, but you can be better than the worst parent.
A good parent will always be there for their children. If they fail to show up for dinner or a special event, they should realize that it will cost them nothing to show up. The cost for them is very small. Sooner or later they will realize that their efforts are worthless if they expect the child to be happy with them all the time.
My parents’ definition of good parenting is pretty close to mine. When I was a kid we never argued or bickered over the smallest thing. No one ever got hurt. And in some ways that is what makes me a good parent.
Another part of this definition is my parents’ willingness to set aside any disagreements they had. They had to do that because of the country they were raised in. I think in that environment any disagreement was a very big deal and would have been taken very seriously.
My parents had their own imperfections and like any parent, they were not perfect. We had our moments where they lost patience with me or they yelled at me. That is the price you pay for parenting in today’s world.
That is okay. It happens. It is a good thing when you are able to find a common ground.
Your parents’ definition of parenting may be completely different from mine. But it is a starting point. Once you realize that you have many different definitions of parenting and you learn how to be a good parent, you can make up your own definitions and decide how you are going to live your life.
Remember, good parenting does not mean sacrificing your own happiness for the happiness of your children. It means loving your children in every way and without trying to make them into perfect people. That is what makes your parenting a good parenting experience.